Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Thoughts on Life at 33...

Tap tap... Is this thing on?

I can't believe I haven't written a post in over 2 years... 2 YEARS! Life just happens... And I feel like a million and one things have happened within those two years. I've gone from having a newborn and leaving my 9:00-5:00 job (last blog post) to having a toddler and a baby in my belly, to now having 2 children. Family unit complete!

There's been happy, sad, stressful moments. Friendships that have drifted apart and more that have grown stronger. Family drama, friend drama... Trips, travels and love in between. I've learned a lot... A lot about other people, but even more about myself.

Club 33... Someday 

Today is my birthday and I'm feeling 33 is a weird age... If we all have the life expectancy that we hope you reach 100 then that means 1/3 of my life is over... If it ends before that then it's even more over. The effect this is having me is just... "Girl, time to get your shit together" 

I feel so different since Chelsea has been born. Having a daughter has made me look at things a lot closer. A young girl can be very impressionable. It's making me examine the kind of influence I want to be on her, which has made me examine myself a lot more.

I've realized in the last 2 years I lost a bit of myself. Perhaps I was just caught up in new mommyhood, but I feel like I lost a piece of me. I used to be a confident person and maybe to some still appear to be one from the outside looking in. Somewhere along the line I put myself last and got a little lost. Where did my self confidence go? When did I become such a people pleaser? When did I start letting peoples negativity affect me so much? These traits coming forward are not something I want my daughter to see. I want her to be confident... I want her to be respectful and motivated to make her own way in this world.

I will definitely say being pregnant again was not a confidence builder for me. Who's body is this? Am I supposed to be comfortable in it? I've said it all along and I will til the end... There are people who love being pregnant... And those that can't wait til the end... I'm the latter not glowing preggo. While I do count my blessings that I was able to get pregnant naturally with both of my children and there are those that are less fortunate... I'm so happy I never have to do it again. 

I feel like now that the part of my life where we're building our family is over, it's time to get back to "Girl, get your shit together"  

Sooooo let's get my shit together!

I'm going to ease back into blogging, I miss writing here. I've come up with a basic structure that focuses on things going on around town and spotlights on local artists so stay tuned. 

I'm going to be rebranding, redoing websites, logos and renaming everything. This blog, my vintage shop and maybe even Green Cycle. I bet no one even really knew I had a vintage shop... You will soon :)

I feel like I'm shedding a layer of skin, blossoming, shit if I was a bird I would be molting. Ha! I can't take any of this old stuff with me. Starting fresh for myself feels so great. No more negativity... No negative people, no negative feelings, only onward and upward.... If I could just get medical clearance to start yoga again that would be grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat (office space voice) :)

So! Now it's time to put up or shut up... And let me start here....

Last year, (before I knew I was preggo...actually I think I was pregnant in the photos and didn't know it) I was involved in Self Revealed: The Naked Photography Project. I can only count on my one hand the amount of people that knew I did this. Self Revealed is a photography project in which women of all ages, sizes and color have the opportunity to express & validate their beauty on their terms. It's about body acceptance. No matter what you weight, size, color or creed it's about loving yourself and the skin you're in. Over 100 women had their photos taken.

I did it... And holy shit was it liberating!

I didn't share this with very many people as I was too concerned about the judgement or thoughts from other friends and family. The me now is like wtf were you thinking! This is absolutely ridiculous! I'm so proud to be a part of this project! The exhibit will run at Gallery 2014 into April

So I end this blog post with my photo courtesy of the amazing Elizabeth Sanjuan at Gallery 2014. Love to all!

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